RECOMMENDED BOOKS ON OPEN RELATIONSHIPS & POLYAMORY
Yes, this is a book about non-consensual non-monogamy and NO consensual non-monogamy is not the same thing as infidelity. BUT most folks come to me looking to avoid the pitfalls of affairs so knowing more about affairs is a great place to start.
Plus Esther Perel is one of the only relationships out there who actually affirms polyamory as a valid option and there's a LOT of great information for folks considering open relationships, really valuable bits on jealousy and insecurity, and powerful ideas about what happens when we feel drawn to a new lover. A must-read for folks rethinking traditional relationship structures. Order a copy here.
This is my favorite foundational book on open relationships because Tristan does an incredible job outlining the major relationships folks choose in non-monogamous connections AND the benefits and pitfalls of each. Based on thousands of interviews, she shares real-life stories of couples, thruples, and polycules making non-monogamy work for them. Order a copy here.
Okay, this one is NOT for everyone. Lots of folks come to consensual non-monogamy wanting purely sexual or play-based connections with more than one person, but hope to reserve deep emotional or long-term connections just for one partner. BUT if polyamory (more than one love) is what you're thinking about this book will help you think through common concerns like no other. Order a copy here.
Here's the guide to individual clarity, boundary setting, and consent negotiations you're looking for. If you have a history getting tangled up in other people's emotions, putting their needs before yours, or you're thinking about practicing solo polyamory (ethical intentional dating- with yourself as your primary partner) this book is here to help you. Order a copy here.