portland Polyamory | couples therapy | sex therapy | couples retreat

If you're wondering...

  • Is non-monogamy right for me (or us)?

  • How would we even start to open our relationship?

  • How do I know what I need to ask for?  

  • What if I get jealous when we start seeing other people?

  • How will we slow things down if they start getting out of hand?

  • What kinds of boundaries or expectations are realistic in open relationships?

  • How can we stay connected if we see other people?

  • What do we need to do to make sure this doesn't split us up?

... this is the right retreat for you.

 

NO MORE OVERWHELM AND ISOLATION

Often thinking outside the box about relationships can be a little lonely.  You might have great friends, but they're not always the most open-minded when we talk about changing the way we love.

And sometimes getting creative relationships can be overwhelming.  Most of us aren't taught great relationship skills in the first place- let alone given the tools to tailor relationships to our unique needs and personal growth.

Rather than stay in overwhelm and isolation we gather once a year to build friendship, share tools, gather resources, reflect, grow, and laugh.  Join us in October 2018.

 

DETAILS:

OCTOBER 20-21, 2018 12:00 PM - 5:00 PM

Private Residence in St Johns neighborhood, North Portland, Oregon

READ MORE IN THE RETREAT FAQS


OUR RETREAT GOALS

Our aim is to deepen self-understanding to get clear about what each participant needs individually so we can create relationship structures and agreements that support our needs. 

Our learning will focus on these fundamentals:

Deepening Self-Understanding and Self-Compassion

The basis of all love is self-love. We'll work together to build self-awareness around each participant's needs, desires, and hopes based in your unique strengths and personal integrity. You'll walk away with a more confident understanding of what really matters, and where you're willing to compromise.

Clarifying a Shared Visioning

Whether you ultimately choose some form of intentional monogamy or consensual non-monogamy in a partnership, you need to have a shared goal or vision in mind. We'll use a strengths-based model to clarify your vision as it relates to shared intimacy to lay a foundation for your future together.

Creating Intentional Relationship Agreements

Once we have clarity about where you'd like to go together we'll help you get thereby strengthening your commitments and agreements. Whether monogamous or not it is essential to have clear boundaries in relationships.  We'll help you draft a set of agreements to guide you on your new path.

Strengthening Communication Skills for Alternative Relationships

No matter your relationship structure if you plan to stay together over time you need to have the necessary communication skills to check in and adjust plans as your needs and desires evolve. You'll learn skills to clarify boundaries and expectations and navigate intimacy and consent with trust and integrity.

 
 
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RETREAT VALUES
 

Our retreat core values are belonging, creativity, self-awareness, and renewal.  

We invite all participants to explore these in the context of their relationships with themselves, with other participants, and with the folks they return home to.

BELONGING - We strive for an inclusive environment free from cool kid tables and mean girl shit.  This community is based in compassion and care across differences.

CREATIVITY - We know growth requires dreaming, learning and mistake-making and respect each other's process.  

SELF-AWARENESS - We engage in reflection, curiosity, and self-compassion to bring greater awareness.  We respect our own and each other's boundaries.

RENEWAL - We go on retreats to renew and refresh our relationships with ourselves and those close to us.  We honor the space each of us to replenish our connections. 


THIS RETREAT IS FOR YOU IF:

THIS IS NOT FOR YOU IF:

  • You are considering opening your relationship

  • You've been practicing consensual non-monogamy for a short while and want help through the bumps that have come up.  

  • You're ready to change your old relationship patterns

  • You want to think outside the box about building healthy relationships

  • You're not into doing love the way everyone else does just because it's what everyone else does

  • You want more people around you who are exploring healthy alternatives in love

  • You're interested in talking with other fun folks about love, sex, and relationships

  • You're able to think creatively without judgment and want to hear other folks experiences

  • You're not open to reflection, learning about relationships, or personal growth

  • You hate the Pacific Northwest

  • You can't hear about other kinds of relationships or sexualities without judgment or laughter

  • You only want to come to hook up (connections do happen of course, but they're not the primary goal here)

  • You don't believe socialization, racism, sexism, homophobia are real things

  • You can't respect other people's boundaries

  • You can't respect other people's privacy

 

When is it?

OCTOBER 20 & 21, 2018, 12:00-5:00 PM

 

Where do I register?

There are two steps to registration.  If you are interested, do not delay registration (last year's retreats filled in under a week).

REGISTRATION STEPS:

1) Submit your retreat application here.

2) You'll receive an email invitation for registration or asking for more information within two business days.  We hope to have you join us this year!  

3) Have a blast at the retreat!

 

How much does it cost?

Participation, materials, delicious details, facilitation, and a beautiful space for two days is $250/person. 

If you'd like to be considered for a reduced rate space please apply here.

 

Where is it?  How do I get there?  

The retreat is in a gorgeous home in St Johns neighborhood, North Portland, OR.  It's accessible by bus or car.

Once registered, you'll receive an email with all the specifics.

 

Where do we stay?

You're going to book your own lodging where you'll feel most comfortable.

 

What should I pack?

Weather in Oregon is always a little wild.  It is likely to be sunny but plan for rain and wear layers for your comfort.

Our retreat is all indoors so we'll be warm and cozy.  Wear something comfortable for your body.  

 

What if I want a refund?

All transactions sold for services are non-refundable, please make sure you are 100% sure you want to attend before purchasing.

Are meals included?

Beverages and ample snacks will be provided (options inclusive of gluten free, vegan, and sugar-free diets) to keep you comfy during the day.  

 

What if I need space?  I'm an introvert- will there be any alone time?  

Weekends are my only chance to regroup. Will there be space to rest?  

We build in lots of breaks so you can reflect, renew, and enjoy snacks and new friends.  

If you need more time let us know- we can work with you.

 

Is this retreat for couples only?

Can I come without a partner?

Will there be single people there?

Yes there will be single people there. Typically the retreat is about half couples and half individuals.  

If you come with a friend, date, or partner, please note the workshops are designed to interact with lots of folks (not just the one you came with) and we emphasize inclusion and non-judgment.  

Please be aware of your actions in the group to help support those outside your group/pair to feel welcome.

 

Is this for straight people?  

Will there be other queers at the retreat?

This retreat is open to all sexualities, gender identities, and gender expressions.  Straight people who can embrace other sexualities as equal to their own are welcome.  Queers who can compassionately interact with straight folks are always welcome.

For what it's worth, typically the retreats are attended by about 50% straight-ish folks and 50% LGBTQ-ish folks.  

Can my kids come?  

Will there be childcare?

The retreat workshops are kid-free so you (and other participants) can be free from distraction. Sorry, childcare is not provided.   

 

Is everyone there polyamorous?  

Is this just a retreat for open relationships?  

What if we're monogamous?

We welcome participants from all kinds of relationships and we do not judge either monogamy or non-monogamy as inherently better than the other. The focus of our conversation will be largely exploring models and boundaries to consider with open minds and hearts. 

If we're all connected to our core values and intentions, no two relationship structures will look exactly alike- and we celebrate that.

Some participants are in open relationships or open marriages.  They often are seeking a space where they can talk with others in relationships like their own about their unique relationship needs without shame or judgment.

Most participants have practiced monogamy but aren't sure if that's what they want to practice forever.  They come to explore possibilities and reflect on what they need (individually and/or together) moving forward. Many leave clearer they want to continue monogamy, others choose to build open relationships.  

This retreat is not about one form of relationship being better than another- instead it's about helping you tailor your relationships to your needs with intention and integrity moving forward.  

 

What if I meet someone I'm interested in at the retreat?

Lots of people meet others they're interested in at these retreats which is wonderful.  But our primary focus isn't to be a dating or swinging event.  This serves three important functions:

  1. We want the group to feel as inclusive as possible.  Often crushes in community leave others feeling excluded and/or unsafe.  Please respect this fine balance if you do feel pulled to another participant.
  2. Sometimes the thrill and/or heartbreak of new crushes can bring drama to a group. We're here to focus on rethinking relationships in strategic and sustainable ways for all of us.  Please respect the calm this group is seeking even if you feel the rush of new love surfacing.
  3. Not everyone comes to these retreats looking for love. Please respect the boundaries of your fellow participants so they can do the work they came for. 

Will there be hook up opportunities?

Will there be a play party?

Lots of people meet others they're interested in at these retreats which is wonderful. But we try to keep the group spaces inclusive as possible (so no one feels like an outsider) and drama-free (so folks can move through the material without distraction).

Please respect this fine balance if you do feel pulled to connect with another participant.

There will not be play space or nudity at the event, though many participants choose to attend events together after we close at the end of each day.  We'll discuss local events and how to connect with community as we draw to a close Saturday.

 

PAST RETREAT PRAISE & GRATITUDE

 

"Listening to Gina's talk tonight rocked me to my core.  I've known I was ready to transform my life and felt stagnant in my relationships but now I'm ready and prepared to do something about it."

- Jocelynn Jones, Portland, OR, workshop participant 2017

I’m truly am grateful I came out in the blizzard this morning... did I ever need Gina and her forum!!!  I didn't even know how much I needed to address the issues. 

My sharing about needing more connection was totally spontaneous... I didn't even know how much I needed to address the issue until I verbalized it and the tears started to flow!!!

- Nancy Feld, Sturgeon Bay, WI, workshop participant 2015

 

I am so grateful for the experience of participating in this retreat with Gina as our facilitator and guide. That weekend of exploration led me to a growth-spurt in my relationships and career, as well as the realization that I had held myself back for a long time in these areas.

Through Gina’s skilled facilitation, I felt invited to push my edges and step into the (sometimes) uncomfortable and unknown. She has so many fun and helpful activities woven into the process that you might not even notice yourself saying and doing incredibly brave things until you look back on the experience.

In this workshop, I felt safe, cared-for, and lovingly challenged to step into a more vulnerable and real version of myself. I can’t recommend this experience enough!

- Sadie Pile, Seattle WA, retreat attendee 2015

 

This weekend retreat that Gina so graciously led was life changing for me. It awakened me to parts of myself that I have never given space and reintroduced me to parts of myself that I haven't known for years. The retreat was vulnerably and fabulously led by the brilliance that is Gina Senarighi.

I left that space a new being, ready to take on the world with a powerful connection to myself and my ability to show up wholeheartedly.

I recommend this retreat apologetically to anyone interested and would attend any workshop or retreat led by Gina in the future.

- Casey Tonnelly, Seattle, WA, workshop participant 2015

I was both eager and anxious going into this retreat weekend. I had a lifetime desire to be authentic and vulnerable in the way that I lived my life but still hard some big shields around my innermost heart.

This retreat was paced wonderfully and had so much gracious space for imperfection, I was able to remain relaxed while increasing my growing edges!

Gina is a MAGNIFICENT facilitator, a grounded resource and provide a warm and inviting space.

- Effie Stansberry, Hood River, OR, retreat attendee 2015

 

Vulnerability is SCARY. And going away for a weekend with mostly strangers to open up sounded like the worst idea I'd had in a long time. Gina was immediately welcoming and kind, bringing our group into the space graciously and warmly.

Through her smooth, honest, and creative facilitation, Gina created a magical weekend, inviting me to be my best, most authentic self. Was it easy and joyful? Not entirely, but there was lots of laughter and growth and even transformation.  Even some spirited dancing!

A weekend facilitated by Gina gave me access to open up and connect in ways that hadn't been available before. I keep learning from Gina's teachings that weekend, even now, almost a year later. I'm filled with gratitude for what I got while retreating with her. 

- Nuria Gomez, Portland, OR, retreat attendee 2015

 


ABOUT YOUR FEARLESS FACILITATOR

Gina Senarighi has been a therapist, coach, sex educator, and online relationships expert for ten years. In that time she's supported consensually non-monogamous couples all over the globe create agreements and understand boundaries. 

She's supported hundreds of previously monogamous folks in redesigning their open relationship structure with respect and connection. And she's facilitated workshops for folks in all sorts of relationships to better align their relationship choices with their personal integrity.  

After nearly twenty years facilitating groups on retreats, this is the third Rethinking Relationships Retreat. It brings together her impressive facilitation and community development skills with her passion for supporting alternative relationship models.

Read more about her work here or send her a message to ask more specific questions about her work and this retreat.

 

MINDSET FOR SUCCESS

I ask all retreat participants to consider their mindset as a critical piece in the success of this experience.  Please review the learning agreements below as you prepare for our retreat.

As a retreat participant I acknowledge that:

  • in the past some of my choices have negatively impacted those around me, including those I love, and myself,
  • there is a possibility I will repeat these past choices as patterns in the future,
  • change and growth are not linear processes,
  • I want to improve quality of life and reduce stress for myself and those I care for by changing my relationship patterns.

In order to deepen my awareness to grow and learn in this process I will:

  • give myself space to have fun, experiment, create and change my mind,
  • stay open to feedback and willing to learn from my partner, and others I care for,
  • offer consensual compassionate feedback to my partner and/or other participants,
  • offer feedback to my facilitator/coach if the process needs adjustment for my learning style,
  • examine my inner resistance and limiting beliefs, actions, and reactions and
  • ask for support, advice, encouragement, empathy, resources, and tools when I need,
  • pace myself as I work through tools and resources,
  • commit to completing planned personal work between meetings and after the event.

In order to create meaningful lasting change in my relationship patterns, I will:

  • pay attention to the choices I make and claim responsibility for them,
  • seek to understand the consequences of my choices (including those I didn’t intend),
  • not use the actions of others as excuses for my choices,
  • do all I can to repair negative impact done by my chosen actions or omissions,
  • explore the patterns of behavior that lead to my actions and omissions,
  • address and change unhealthy, out-of-balance, and/or harmful patterns,
  • practice self-compassion, giving myself permission to make mistakes as I shape new patterns,
  • extend this practice of compassion to my partner and understand they will make mistakes as they learn, grow, and shape new patterns. 
 

STEP 1: RETREAT REGISTRATION FORM

Please complete the information below to register for the retreat. Once this form and your payment are received your space will be reserved.  

 

Name *
Name
Can I share your contact information with other group members? *
After the retreat I often send out a contact list to ease connection with others. Indicate below if you'd like to have your email shared with other retreaters.
Address *
Address

STEP 2: PAYMENT

Thank you for joining us! Please finalize your payment to complete your registration.

You'll receive an email with more information regarding the retreat the week before the event.  If you have questions in the meantime please contact Gina at info@uncommonlovepdx.com