sex therapy

Therapist Referrals & Great Relationship Coaches

I’ve been fortunate to meet so many incredible providers over the years I wanted to share some of their information here for anyone who wants support for their mental health, and personal or professional growth.

Of course, I am taking new clients, but I am also not the right provider for every client in every situation. If you want or need help I recommend auditioning a few different folks to see who’s style, training, and expertise feels like the best fit for you.

If you want to work with me, contact me here for a free consultation to see if my work is a fit for you. And here are some other incredible folks I recommend talking with.


Changes to My Coaching Practice

Hello!

I'm writing this note to update all of you readers about some changes in my practice this spring. 

As many of you know, I am expecting a baby this summer and plan to take time away from seeing clients July-August of this year.  However, due to an unexpected personal change, my in-person practice is moving out of state even sooner (my family is all healthy- don’t worry, it’s an exciting change). 

I am still seeing clients in my NE Portland office until May 1, 2019.  If you'd like to meet in person (even for a one session check-in), please reply to this email so I can be sure to get you on the schedule. 


After May 1, I am still open to supporting you in a variety of ways. I will list them below. Even if you never sign up for a program or meet with me please know I am available to offer resources and referrals anytime. You can reach me using this email (gina@ginasenarighi.com), you can find me on facebook here or here, on instagram, or on either of my websites (nonmonogamous.com or ginasena.com). 

I am grateful to all of you for being a part of my professional journey in Portland.  It’s been such a blessing to get so much community support for the work I do, and so have so many incredible local people share their intimate lives with me.

You are all in my heart no matter where I live or practice, Gina

ONGOING COACHING/COUNSELING OPTIONS

ONLINE COACHING & COUNSELING

First, I will continue to see clients (as I have been) online using Zoom video conferencing services until July and again in the fall. 

IN PORTLAND, OREGON

If you'd like to get support from a Portland-area provider there are several I highly respect listed here. I'm also open to hopping on the phone for a quick chat to help you connect with a provider if you have specific questions about finding someone who can meet your unique needs. 

COACHING FOCUS AREAS

SOLO RELATIONSHIP COACHING

I will continue supporting folks as individual clients who are interested in changing relationship patterns. These hour-long sessions have been instrumental for lots of folks who are just starting dating after a break up, who need help asking for what they need in partnerships and/or who are thinking about ending a relationship.

PREMARITAL COUNSELING
I am still offering premarital/pre-commitment counseling online if you or anyone you know might be interested in focused support around a shared life commitment. These sessions have been helpful for folks who want an integrity-fueled plan for the future without a specific religious dogma attached.

SHOULD WE BREAK UP?

I'm also still offering discernment counseling online for folks considering breaking up who want to process that in a compassionate way. Some people call this “conscious uncoupling.” Whatever you call it, think of this an a kind or friendly alternative tho the way most people view breakups. Feel free to refer folks you know who might be interested here.

NON-MONOGAMY, POLYAMORY & OPEN RELATIONSHIPS

I still support tons of people considering consensual non-monogamy and/or practicing it for a long time. I’ve helped thousands of clients decide if, when, and how consensual non-monogamy is a fit for them. Read more here.

SEXUALITY COUNSELING FOR PASSION, INTIMACY & DESIRE

I’ll be finishing up my Sex Counseling credential later this year. This has meant helping people overcome common sexual dysfunctions in relationships and in long-term relationships overcoming desire fatigue.  Info on that can be found here.

WORKSHOPS & EVENTS

FREE MONTHLY MASTERCLASS

I've been hosting a monthly free relationship tune-up call every month for the last year.  You can find information about them here.  Please sign up right away if you're interested, they tend to fill quickly.

RETREATS

POLYAMORY 101 RETREAT

I'll still host my Polyamory 101 Annual Retreat in Portland (and soon I'll have an online version).  You can sign up to be invited here.

LESBIAN COUPLES RETREAT

I also have a Lesbian Couples Retreat in the works for later this year. Sign up here to be invited.

ONLINE CLASSES

BOUNDARIES

I teach a course in Healthy Boundaries for relationships a few times each year.  If you're into it, check it out here.

JEALOUSY

I offer an online course on Jealousy Management a couple of times a year.  You can sign up to get notified when registration opens here.

TRUST TUNE-UP

Finally, this year I am offering my Trust Tune-Up e-course in a few weeks. You can sign up to be invited here.

FREE RELATIONSHIP RESOURCES ONLINE

FREE CONVERSATION STARTERS

I send a weekly set of conversation starters for couples via email and if you are not already receiving it you may want them, you can sign up to get those here.  I also send this list weekly-ish updates with free worksheets, reflection guides, and relationship resource recommendations.

PODCAST

My podcast Swoon launched last week. We'll share information on sex and intimacy and action steps for relationships there once per week. It's available on any of your favorite podcast platforms (I'd love it if you left a review).

BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS

There are lists of my favorite books on relationships shared online here and right here.  I HIGHLY recommend them as supports even when you're in a good phase (some may be familiar to you already).

FREE TOOLS AND RESOURCES ONLINE

I offer a free relationship resource toolbox you are welcome to use anytime (save this link) filled with worksheets, guides, videos, and reading materials. I also have one tailored for non-monogamous and sex-positive relationships. If you haven’t already signed up for access you can do so here and here.

BLOG ARTICLES

Finally, I have two related blogs you can check in on anytime full of advice, resources, and ideas about relationships, communication, and intimacy.

Read them at nonmonogamous.com/blog or ginasena.com/blog today!


Why You're Not Having Sex: Alone Time

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This is part of a series of posts about sex and desire in long-term relationships.  CLICK HERE to read the full series.


It might seem counter-intuitive, but alone time is essential to maintaining desire in long-term relationships.  

But I don't mean just spending time alone, scrolling social media, or on a netflix binge.  The kind of alone time that fuels desire is all about you spending quality time with yourself, and when it's out of balance, sexual desire starts to drop fast.  

A-Sexual Passion & Exploration

This is far more important than most people ever give credit, but most of us table our personal passions for the grind of daily life to the detriment of our passionate selves.  

Think about it, when was the last time you devoted your full presence for an hour to something you truly love doing?  When was the last time you found flow?  When was the last time you dove into something and learned something interesting or new?

If you can't remember, or if it was a long time ago, you're going to want to devote some energy back in the realm of your personal passions.  Clear an hour this week to learn something new, try a different adventure, or return to a creative craft you've long retired.  

If you can't even imagine which passions you might consider, devote your hour to starting a personal bucket list now.  Make a list of anything you might want to try, and leave room that trying new things might open doors to passions- or at least will get you out having fun.  

And if you're in a partnership have a conversation about how you can support one another in cultivating personal passion.  For many folks having someone else maintain household responsibilities, or provide childcare while you adventure is vital to finding time for this practice.

Here are some examples of the personal passion adventures some of my clients have chosen:

  • intuitive dance
  • researching buddhism
  • collage
  • volunteering at the art museum
  • silent dance party
  • Thai cooking class
  • knitting
  • landscape design
  • cheesemaking
  • tarot readings
  • corset making
  • furniture design

The passion you choose to explore may not seem "sexy" per se, but you might be surprised how much committing energy to a-sexual passions can ignite the confidence, fascination, and arousal you're craving.

Enter your email below and I'll send you a handy guide to create your passion bucket list.

 

Self-Love 

The other area for quality solo time and passionate self-exploration is practicing literal self-love.  

Answer honestly: when was the last time you masturbated?  Many folks in long-term relationships fall out of practice with self-love (many more still never had a practice in the first place).

But because every human body is unique and we are growing and changing all the time, staying connected to your own body's desires, arousal patterns, likes and dislikes is so very important to communicating well about sex with a partner.  

Allow yourself space and time in the week to explore your body, try new toys, fantasies, and sensations along the way to help you stay connected to your sexual body's needs and desires.  Remember, there's no right or wrong way to masturbate, just trust your body and follow it's lead.  

Anytime you want help talking through all this, I'm here to help.  Just set up a consultation so we can chat!

READ THE REST OF THE SERIES:

  1. Biology

  2. Time Scarcity

  3. Lack of Self-Care

  4. Maintenance Sex - Break Free of Obligation

  5. Lack of Inspiration - Invest in Creativity, Wonder and Awe

  6. Assumption-Making - Get Curious and Explore

  7. Initiation Hesitation - Live Courageously and Circle Back

  8. Lacking Feedback - Highlights Reel

  9. Poor Consent Practices - Talk During

  10. Sex Negativity - Don't Yuck Their Yum

  11. Routine Boredom - Fantasy Sharing, Find Inspiration

  12. Necessary Repairs - Move Past Resentment with Apology and Personal Responsibility

  13. Desire Maintenance - Invest in Your Sexiness

  14. Alone Time


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Hi!  I'm glad you're reading.  Let me know if I can help you:

  • rediscover passion in long-term relationships
  • repair trust after infidelity or dishonesty
  • move beyond jealousy, insecurity or codependency
  • resolve sexual dysfunction and disconnect
  • break unhealthy communication patterns 
  • open your relationship and practice polyamory with care

Call me for a free consultation to rethink your relationship.

 

Gina Senarighi, MS, MA, CPC is a communication consultant, sexuality counselor and certified relationship coach specializing in polyamory, open relationships, jealousy, and infidelity.  

You Asked, I Answered: What to Know About Working With Me

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I get asked a lot of great questions about my work.  Here's a short list of the most commonly asked questions about couples and relationship work with me.  

Read more of the most frequently asked questions by my clients here

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How is coaching different from counseling?

Yes, I have completed a masters in counseling, but the work I do is not based You’ve tried therapy and stuck to it… but it’s time to apply the skills learned. Counseling is important reflective healing work, but my clients come to me hoping to take action for change.  That's where coaching comes in.

Counseling (the "assessment and treatment of mental health disorders") is about asking why something is happening.  Coaching doesn't assess or treat these disorders- my clients are healthy.  Instead we ask what you want to do differently.  How do you want to change? 

You're pretty friendly, how is this different from a friendship?

Having friendly relationships with my clients is important to me, but this isn't a friendship per se.  Whenever we meet I'm working for you providing facilitated space, open-mindedness, years of experience and training, and deep professional care.  

What's different than friendship is:

  • I bring ten years of professional expertise and training helping people build healthy relationships
  • I don't have personal attachment to your story so I won't offer judgment and you don't have to question my motives
  • You don't have to take care of my feelings or needs- this is a one-way relationship
  • I won't hit on you, sleep with you, or date you- our boundaries remain clear no matter how intimate our conversation
  • I won't search you online or in social media, what you choose to bring to session is up to you
  • The things you say to me remain strictly confidential (see more on this below)

How long are sessions?

Couples sessions are 75-90 minutes long.  I ask you to reserve 90 minutes for our meeting each time we schedule.  Many of my clients arrive 15 minutes early to collect their thoughts before session- I highly recommend it.

Individual sessions are 50 minutes long.  Many of my clients arrive 15 minutes early to collect their thoughts before session- I highly recommend it.

How often will we meet?

Most of my clients meet me every other week.  This gives you time to check in with your partner, your other partners, and (if you're in couples work) your individual therapist or coach.  It also gives a little more time to try out the skills we're working on before we meet again. 

A small number of my clients meet me weekly.  These are typically clients healing from affairs and experiencing extreme emotions.  Sometimes clients meet me weekly during stressful experiences (loss, break-up, new partner etc) or when they are making time-sensitive decisions (should we stay together, move to China, abort this pregnancy etc).

There's also a small number of clients who I have worked with for a while who want to invest in pro-active relationship maintenance.  We've generally cleared up the initial concerns they brought to my office, but they want a container to hold their conflicts with care moving forward.  We typically meet every third week for this kind of preventative relationship care work. 

How long do you meet with people?

Most clients work with me 4-6 months.  Many clients choose to stay on for monthly relationship maintenance meetings to help keep their relationships healthy.  

I'm proud that over 50% of my clients return years after working together to start up again when new issues arise.  They enjoyed our work together, found it helpful, and want to work with someone who knows their back story.

Where is your office/Where will we meet?

All my initial screening free consultations happen on the phone.  

Once we've decided to work together we may meet on the phone or in my office in Northeast Portland, OR.  My office is in the Overlook/Arbor Lodge neighborhoods at the corner of N Denver and N Killingsworth.  You can take the Max or the bus easily and there is ample street parking.

How much does this work cost?

I recommend budgeting between $175 and $800 each month for this work (depending on the frequency and type of meetings).  I offer some reduced rate spaces for clients who make a lower income.   

Initial phone consultations are free.  First sessions for couples are $200 and first solo sessions are $175.  Ongoing couples sessions are $175 and solo sessions are $125.  Again, let me know if this is too much for your household budget, I may have reduced rate sessions available.

Do you offer sliding-scale or reduced fee sessions?

I do reserve a small number of spaces for reduced rate clients who make a lower income.  Some of my clients also meet with me less frequently to make this work fit in their budgets.  Let me know if you need help affording our work.

Do you bill insurance?

I would never share your personal information with a corporation- so no, I do not bill insurance.  Some of my clients have used Flex Spending Accounts and Health Savings Accounts to work with me successfully.

Will you see either of us individually if we also see you as a couple?

I will see you individually to work on issues related to the relationship.  But if you want additional support for other areas of your life, or very intense self-work I will likely refer you out.

How does confidentiality work?

Everything you say to me in session is kept confidential on my end forever.  There are only a few exceptions to this:

  • If you are abusing someone in your care, or your partner, or yourself I'll likely have to report your abuses
  • If you are planning to kill yourself or another person I will report your plans
  • If you contact me using the internet, social media, email, or a smart phone I have no control over the confidentiality of the information you share (but google, facebook, etc will) 
  • I am currently receiving supervision for both a Sex Counselor and a Master Coach credential and will talk with my supervisor about my client work- but I will remove identifying information in these conversations.

How do you maintain boundaries with a community so interconnected?

It's not uncommon for one of my clients to have some familiarity with others.  But your confidentiality is of utmost importance.  If there's something that feels uncomfortable we'll talk about it, but I won't be able to share information about any of my other clients, famous or not, past or present.  

Your information is safe with me.

I also don't discuss my own personal connections, interests, desires, or activities with clients.  If I show up at an event and a client is in attendance I will probably leave.  I do this to maintain a professional relationship, instead of beginning a personal one (that could complicate our work together). I'd rather maintain extra distance than harm our work.  

What if we stop working together?

Your confidentiality is respected even if we stop working together.  Once you become one of my clients you can always return to our work, so your information will wait in a secure vault if (until) you decide to return.


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Gina Senarighi, MS, MA, CPC is a communication consultant, sexuality counselor and certified relationship coach specializing in polyamory, open relationships, jealousy, and infidelity.  

She can help you:

  • rediscover passion in long-term relationships
  • repair trust after infidelity or dishonesty
  • move past jealousy, insecurity or codependent patterns
  • open your relationship or practice polyamory with care
  • resolve sexual dysfunction and disconnect
  • break unhealthy communication patterns in your relationship

Contact her for a free consultation to see if working with her is right for you.

Click here to download her free guides to strengthen your relationship (monogamous or not).