sex positive portland

Considerations for Opening Your Relationship in Portland, Oregon

Open Relationships in Portland | Uncommon Love Polyamory Counseling in Portland

After supporting hundreds of couples opening relationships and maintaining polyamorous relationships in our beautiful weird city, I wanted to share some of the most common considerations that might be specific to Portlandia.

This town has a lot of great resources to nurture non-traditional relationships, from tantra classes, to sex positive meet-ups, to erotic-themed poetry readings, there are a lot of great events in Portland for less-mainstream couples.  

 

3 Considerations for Opening Your Relationship in Portland

Small Town

Portland is just big enough to host a lot of great events and be home to some really incredible people (over 600,000 of us).  And a lot of people say they moved here from other cities because of Portland's weirdly small-town feel.  

Portland's in-between size has been such a huge factor for so many of the couples I support.  It shows up in three main ways:

  • The dating pool is smaller

So there are less folks to choose from in the first place- let alone those who really understand nonmonogamy and how it works.  There's also less poly, nonmonogamous, and/or swinger community to connect with than say, San Francisco or Seattle merely because Portland is much smaller.

  • The ex-pool is closer

Right, so if the dating pool is small, the ex-pool is even smaller.  It's likely you will cross paths with someone you hooked up with (or your partner did) at some point.  Plan accordingly.

  • You're going to run into people you don't expect

Many of the couples I work with are not out to coworkers, family, or other community about their nontraditional relationship.  This is just fine until you're out on a date with your new fling and someone you know from church is in the same restaurant.  

It can be really limiting for couples who are not out about their polyamorous life.

"Liberal" Values

Portland is lauded for its liberal values and in many ways our cultural embrace on keeping Portland weird does help nonmonogamous relationships flourish here.  

BUT many of the couples I support have seen ways those liberal values are espoused- not necessarily actualized.  For example, many of the people of color I work with have experienced real racism at play parties, and genderqueer clients of mine are always concerned about safety due to prior harassment at non-queer events.  

Portland is very far ahead of many parts of the country in terms of acceptance and social justice- but there is still progress to be made.

Quality Sex-Positive Spaces

We are lucky to have many sex-positive formal and informal events in Portland, it's true, but many of them have been very hard to find for my clients.  The events might be private, difficult to access, or unclear in their boundaries.  

For example, I had clients report back to me after attending a sex-positive event in Portland that no one explained the house rules to them, they were gendered, and they witnessed many non-consensual acts between adults while attending the party.  

The in-between size of Portland means less space- and I would argue, less quality space for couples seeking sex-positive community.

 

It's not impossible to nourish an open relationship in Portland, but there are important considerations that make our weird and wonderful city unique for folks embracing a non-traditional relationship format.  

Think about what you might need to overcome these in your own Portland partnership.

 

If you want support overcoming these challenges give me a call for a consultation.  I'm happy to help you nurture your relationship (monogamous or otherwise).


Gina Senarighi, MS, MA, CPC is a sex educator and relationship coach specializing in polyamory, open relationshipsjealousy, LGBTQ issues and infidelity.  

She can help you:

Contact her for a free consultation to see if working with her is right for you.

Click here to download her free guides to strengthen your relationship (monogamous or not).

 

 

 

Where to Meet Other Non-Monogamous Portlanders

Where to Meet Nonmonogamous Portlanders | Uncommon Love Open Relationship Counseling in Portland

One of the top concerns among my non-monogamous clients is how to meet other open couples and singles.  It can be tough to find community especially for people new to non-monogamy.

Here are a few of the groups my clients have said they enjoyed attending:

She Bop - She Bop is a woman-owned sex toy store and education center in Northeast Portland.  They frequently offer an educational session for folks considering non-monogamy.  I highly recommend attending one of their trainings for couples.   

Portland Leather Alliance - is an organization based in leather appreciation and sex-positive community.  They frequently host "munch" events for potential new members where you can meet others in the community.  If leather or BDSM play is a potential interest for you I recommend attending a munch to find local community.

SPEEC- The Sex Positive Education and Event Center has recently opened in Portland, and while I haven't sent a client there yet, I am certain I will.  This organization is lead by a number of sex-positive community members I have long respected professionally, I anticipate great things from them!

Portland Q Center - Occasionally the Q Center offers a poly support group and one for open relationships.  They frequently offer them for partners of gender non-conforming folks (SOFFA), bisexual folks, and people who are just coming out LGBQ (as well as one for new kinksters).  Check their calendar to see if there is a group for you.

Portland Poly MeetUps - There are a number of polyamory-focused meetup groups in the Portland, OR (and Vancouver, WA) area.  Check these listings to see if there is an opportunity that speaks to you.

Sex-Positive Portland MeetUp - There are a number of sex-positive themed meet up groups in Portland and the surrounding area.  Check here to see if one resonates with your needs.  

Portland Polyamory Outreach Group - is a local organization dedicated to sharing resources for poly folks in Oregon.  Check their site for groups, organizations, and meetups near you.

Best of luck to you in creating community.  If you need help or support please let me know, I am happy to help.  

Gina

 


Gina Senarighi, MS, MA, CPC is a sex educator and relationship coach specializing in polyamory, open relationshipsjealousy, LGBTQ issues and infidelity.  

She can help you:

Contact her for a free consultation to see if working with her is right for you.

Click here to download her free guides to strengthen your relationship (monogamous or not).