poly therapist

Four Great Resources for Therapists on Polyamory

Polyamory Therapist Portland | Uncommon Love Polyamory Therapy in Portland

I hear from readers every week who can't find therapists who understand nonmonogamy.  Or I see clients who have had bad experiences with well-meaning ill-informed therapists.  

If you are a client, it is not your job to train your therapist, but for many polyamorous relationships, there aren't any trained therapists in your area.  

If that's the case, I'm including three resources below to help your therapist start learning about nonmonogamy and gain some tools that may help you out.  

WORKING WITH POLYAMOROUS CLIENTS IN THE CLINICAL SETTING, JOY DAVIDSON, Ph.D.

WHAT PSYCHOLOGY PROFESSIONALS SHOULD KNOW ABOUT POLYAMORY, NATIONAL COALITION FOR SEXUAL FREEDOM

THERAPY WITH CLIENTS WHO ARE BISEXUAL AND POLYAMOROUS, GERI WEITZMAN, PHD

You can also have them call me for a consultation, I am happy to support their work with you. 


Online Polyamory Counseling | Online Open Relationship Therapy

Gina Senarighi, MS, MA, CPC is a sex educator and relationship coach specializing in polyamory, open relationshipsjealousy, LGBTQ issues and infidelity.  

She can help you:

Contact her for a free consultation to see if working with her is right for you.

Click here to download her free guides to strengthen your relationship (monogamous or not).

Gay Therapy for Straight Couples?

gay therapy for straight couples | Uncommon Love LGBTQ Counseling in Portland

One of the most common questions I get asked by prospective couples counseling clients is if I work with straight people at all.  This makes me smile for so many reasons.  

First of all, yes, of course I work with all kinds of couples.  Thank you for noticing I support all kinds of relationships (gay, lesbian, poly, or kinky).  I am glad my marketing is clear.  

Most of the straight couples I work with choose me because they too support all kinds of relationships and loving.  

Many of the couples counseling clients who choose to work with me identify as straight.  But truthfully, most of their heterosexual identity is more flexible or open than rigid.  And because many of their relationships are open or sex-positive their sexual expression and intimate connections are just so much more complex than gay or straight.  

I have seen male-identified (and socialized) clients who only have sex with one female-identified (and socialized) partner but occasionally play with other men.  

I see female identified clients who once dated women but now are monogamously married.  I see bisexual clients who are monogamous with partners.  

I see swingers who identify as straight but give and receive oral sex from people of two genders at parties.  

I see tops who dominate many different genders of bottoms, but only exchange fluids (are fluid bonded) with one partner (of a different gender).  

And I see male-identified (and socialized) clients who identify as straight and are monogamously married to female-identified (and socialized) clients.

The question makes me smile largely because the question makes me think of the beautiful diversity of sexual preferences, play styles, and gender identities within my client group.  

Not one of them can be easily defined by one simple term- straight or gay.  

No matter your gender or sexual identity, if you are looking for an LGBTQ affirming professional in Portland Oregon, give me a call for a free consultation to see if we're a fit to work together.


Gina Senarighi, MS, MA, CPC is a sex educator and relationship coach specializing in polyamory, open relationshipsjealousy, LGBTQ issues and infidelity.  

She can help you:

Contact her for a free consultation to see if working with her is right for you.

Click here to download her free guides to strengthen your relationship (monogamous or not).

Books for Opening Your Relationship

Books for Opening Your Relationship | Uncommon Love Poly Counseling in Portland

I created this video a while back talking about my favorite books to recommend newly open couples and opening relationships.  

So many of you have asked for these recommendations I thought I would re-post for you here (ignore my old branding).  

If you are considering opening your relationship, congratulations!  

Not everyone decides to have this conversation in relationships, and the avoidance of this topic ends so many relationships.  Even if you decide to stay or be monogamous you will be stronger together for having talked through your worries or concerns about intimacy with other people.  

 It is important to have resources nearby, so in this video I will outline a few of my favorite books for couples who are considering opening their agreements to include other people in their relationship.  

If you're want more help creating non-monogamy agreements in your relationship give me a call for a free consultation to see if working together might help you grow.


Gina Senarighi, MS, MA, CPC is a sex educator and relationship coach specializing in polyamory, open relationshipsjealousy, LGBTQ issues and infidelity.  

She can help you:

Contact her for a free consultation to see if working with her is right for you.

Click here to download her free guides to strengthen your relationship (monogamous or not).

Where to Meet Other Non-Monogamous Portlanders

Where to Meet Nonmonogamous Portlanders | Uncommon Love Open Relationship Counseling in Portland

One of the top concerns among my non-monogamous clients is how to meet other open couples and singles.  It can be tough to find community especially for people new to non-monogamy.

Here are a few of the groups my clients have said they enjoyed attending:

She Bop - She Bop is a woman-owned sex toy store and education center in Northeast Portland.  They frequently offer an educational session for folks considering non-monogamy.  I highly recommend attending one of their trainings for couples.   

Portland Leather Alliance - is an organization based in leather appreciation and sex-positive community.  They frequently host "munch" events for potential new members where you can meet others in the community.  If leather or BDSM play is a potential interest for you I recommend attending a munch to find local community.

SPEEC- The Sex Positive Education and Event Center has recently opened in Portland, and while I haven't sent a client there yet, I am certain I will.  This organization is lead by a number of sex-positive community members I have long respected professionally, I anticipate great things from them!

Portland Q Center - Occasionally the Q Center offers a poly support group and one for open relationships.  They frequently offer them for partners of gender non-conforming folks (SOFFA), bisexual folks, and people who are just coming out LGBQ (as well as one for new kinksters).  Check their calendar to see if there is a group for you.

Portland Poly MeetUps - There are a number of polyamory-focused meetup groups in the Portland, OR (and Vancouver, WA) area.  Check these listings to see if there is an opportunity that speaks to you.

Sex-Positive Portland MeetUp - There are a number of sex-positive themed meet up groups in Portland and the surrounding area.  Check here to see if one resonates with your needs.  

Portland Polyamory Outreach Group - is a local organization dedicated to sharing resources for poly folks in Oregon.  Check their site for groups, organizations, and meetups near you.

Best of luck to you in creating community.  If you need help or support please let me know, I am happy to help.  

Gina

 


Gina Senarighi, MS, MA, CPC is a sex educator and relationship coach specializing in polyamory, open relationshipsjealousy, LGBTQ issues and infidelity.  

She can help you:

Contact her for a free consultation to see if working with her is right for you.

Click here to download her free guides to strengthen your relationship (monogamous or not).

Why Do People Have Open Relationships?

People have open relationships for all kinds of reasons.  Just like monogamous relationships people choose this relationship model for healthy and unhealthy, informed, and unenlightened reasons. 

In my years working with non-monogamous couples, I have heard quite a range of reasons people choose open relationships.  Here are some of the reasons I commonly hear from fabulous individuals in varied polyamorous arrangements:

  • We don’t believe in the status quo.
  • There is greater security outside the confines of a two-person relationship.
  • My partner and my sex drives are out of alignment.
  • I have spent my whole life in polyamorous community and prefer to stay in the community I know and love.
  • I am bisexual and my wife is straight.  She doesn’t want me to lose connection to my queer identity.
  • Why not?
  • I enjoy the communication and honesty necessary for long lasting open relationships.
  • I believe open relationships require higher personal integrity.
  • Having multiple income streams in one household can make for greater financial abundance and sustainability.
  • We enjoy sharing play partners.
  • Polyamorous relationships require greater self development, introspection and have pushed me to grow as a person.
  • I enjoy watching my partner connect with other people.
  • I like the challenge.
  • I am not willing to sacrifice one relationship for another. 
  • Sex with one person for my whole life would be boring.
  • My partner has a fetish or kink I am not into, and I want to support her in getting her needs met.
  • Trying to meet all of my partners needs on my own would put a lot of pressure on our relationship.
  • I like more than one kind of person.
  • My life is richer with more than one partner fueling my emotional intimacy needs. 
  • I don’t want to limit my partner’s personal expression or have mine limited by her.

Open relationships only work when both parties can consent to their boundaries and be honest when they renegotiate their agreements.  Consider your own reasons for choosing a monogamous or an open relationship.

  • Which model works best for you and why?
  • How do you define the boundaries of your monogamous or open contracts?
  • How do you communicate expectations about intimacy with others with your partner?
  • How have your beliefs about monogamy and non-monogamy changed over time?
  • What beliefs do you have about other relationship models? 
  • How do you know which model is best for you?

Remember, no one is born poly or monogamous, these are relationship models we choose.  Neither option is right or wrong when made honestly and intentionally.

 

If you're thinking about opening your relationship and want help talking about it with your partner give me a call for a free consult- I'm glad to help.


Gina Senarighi, MS, MA, CPC is a polyamory consultant, sex educator and relationship coach specializing in polyamory, open relationshipsjealousy, LGBTQ issues and infidelity.  

She can help you:

Contact her for a free consultation to see if working with her is right for you.

Click here to download her free guides to strengthen your relationship (monogamous or not).