Feminist Couples

11 Vows For Non-Traditional Weddings

 Nontraditional Weddings are Beautiful

Every year I am blessed with the opportunity to perform weddings as an officiant.  With the recent changes in the legal definition of marriage and more and more couples redefining with marriage and commitment mean to them I have had more exciting offers to join families for these beautiful occasions.

However, so many of my wonderful unique, nontraditional, feminist, or queer coupleshave difficulty coming up with a ceremony that really works for them.  So many parts of this tradition are linked to beliefs and rules that just don’t fit every loving couple.

In order to help you get started planning your big day (or weekend, or whatever) I want to share some of the vows couples have used in my ceremonies to give you ideas for your own.  Congratulations on wanting to commit to a shared life.

For more non-religious non-traditional vow ideas click here

 

Share the vows from your nontraditional ceremony in the comments- I would love to read more! 

I choose you to be my partner, my love-equal, and mirror for my True Self.  Be my partner on this path.  I will honor you and cherish you in rain and sunshine till death do us part.

Sweetheart, with all my love, I take you to be my life partner, best friend, and constant companion. I will love you through good and the bad, through joy and the sorrow. I will try to be understanding, and to trust in you completely. Together we will face all of life’s experiences and share one another’s dreams and goals. I promise I will be your equal partner in a loving, honest relationship, for as long as we both shall live. 

When you need someone to encourage you, I am there. When you need help, I am there. When you long for someone to smile with, smile with me. When you have something to share, share it with me.

I vow to always keep my love as pure as it is today. I promise to be there for you in your laughter and your tears, in your sickness and your health, in your comfort and your fears. I promise to be there for you for all your life, come what may.

My love from this day forward I promise you, I will laugh with you in times of joy and comfort you in times of sorrow. I will share in your dreams, and support you as you strive to achieve your goals. I will listen to you with compassion and understanding, and speak to you with encouragement. I will remain faithful to our vows for better or for worse, in times of sickness and health. I will love and respect you always.

 I promise you to laugh more than we cry.  To comfort, encourage listen, and hug.  I promise to love you in sunshine and rain for the rest of my days.  I am grateful for every moment I am fortunate to spend with you.

 I promise to encourage us to try new and unusual things.  I vow to invest in loving you daily and to snuggle you as often as possible.  I vow to be the best parts of me that fit perfectly with the best parts of you.  Although I will be imperfect, I pledge to be sensitive and respectful of your unique talents, abilities and quirks.  I pledge to lend you strength for all of your dreams. Through our union we can accomplish more than I could alone.  I believe in you.

Today I join myself to you before this company to share our love with the world. May our days be long, and may they be seasoned with love, understanding and respect.  I choose you to embark upon this great journey of marriage with me.  I am stronger with you than alone. 

From this moment, I take you, as my companion for life. I pledge to honor, encourage, and support you on this long walk together. When our way becomes difficult, I promise to stand by you and uplift you, so that through our union we can accomplish more than we could alone. I promise to work at our love and always make you a priority in my life. With every beat of my heart, I will love you. This is my solemn vow.

My love, our miracle lies in the path we have chosen together. I enter this partnership knowing that the true magic of love is not to avoid change, but to navigate it successfully.Let us commit to the miracle of making each day work – together.

I take you to be my my spouse, my partner, my friend, my confidant, my soul mate.  Our love may be like the ebb and tide of the ocean, but it will always flow. I will be true and loyal, and cherish you for all the days of our lives.  I promise to love, honor, and offer. I promise to be good, giving, and game in all aspects of our lives.  I love you forever. I pledge my all to you.

Please feel free to edit these as you see fit!  They are just a starting point.  Again, congratulations on your celebration of love!


Gina Senarighi, MS, MA, CPC is a polyamory consultant, sex educator and relationship coach specializing in polyamory, open relationshipsjealousy, LGBTQ issues and infidelity.  

She can help you:

Contact her for a free consultation to see if working with her is right for you.

Click here to download her free guides to strengthen your relationship (monogamous or not).

Feminist Wedding Readings

Every year I am blessed with the opportunity to perform weddings as an officiant.  With the recent changes in the legal definition of marriage and more and more couples redefining with marriage and commitment mean to them I have had more exciting offers to join beautiful non-traditional families for these beautiful occasions.

However, so many of my fabulous feminist partners have difficulty coming up with a readings that really work for them.  So many parts of this tradition are linked to beliefs and rules that just don’t fit every egalitarian loving couple.

I mean the institution itself isn’t really based in a social justice framework.  But isn’t reclaiming the ritual on our own terms an activist statement?

I digress….

In order to help you get started planning your big event(s) I want to share some of thequotes and readings couples have used in my ceremonies to give you ideas for your own.  Congratulations on wanting to commit to a shared life.

 Share the vows from your feminist ceremony in the comments- I would love to read more!

 

Search your profile
For a translation
I study the conversation
Like a map
’cause I know there is strength
In the differences between us
And I know there is comfort
Where we overlap

–          Ani Difranco

But ultimately there comes a moment when a decision must be made. Ultimately two people who love each other must ask themselves how much they hope for as their love grows and deepens, and how much risk they are willing to take. It is indeed a fearful gamble. Because it is the nature of love to create, a marriage itself is something which has to be created, so that, together we become a new creature.

To marry is the biggest risk in human relations that a person can take.If we commit ourselves to one person for life this is not, as many people think, a rejection of freedom; rather it demands the courage to move into all the risks of freedom, and the risk of love which is permanent; into that love which is not possession, but participation. It takes a lifetime to learn another person. When love is not possession, but participation, then it is part of that co-creation which is our human calling, and which implies such risk that it is often rejected.

–          Madeline L’Engle

You have to learn to love yourself before you can love me or accept my loving.

–          Audre Lorde

Each time you love, love as deeply as if it were forever.

–          Audre Lorde

Knowing how to be solitary is central to the art of loving. When we can be alone, we can be with others without using them as a means of escape.

–          Bell Hooks

Genuine love is rarely an emotional space where needs are instantly gratified. To know love we have to invest time and commitment…’dreaming that love will save us, solve all our problems or provide a steady state of bliss or security only keeps us stuck in wishful fantasy, undermining the real power of the love — which is to transform us.’ Many people want love to function like a drug, giving them an immediate and sustained high. They want to do nothing, just passively receive the good feeling.

–          Bell Hooks

Love is a combination of care, commitment, knowledge, responsibility, respect and trust.

–          Bell Hooks

To return to love, to get the love we always wanted but never had, to have the love we want but are not prepared to give, we seek romantic relationships. We believe these relationships, more than any other, will rescue and redeem us. True love does have the power to redeem but only if we are ready for redemption. Love saves us only if we want to be saved.

–          Bell Hooks

Love is an action, never simply a feeling.

–          Bell Hooks

Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.

–          Louisa May Alcott

 


Gina Senarighi, MS, MA, CPC is a polyamory consultant, sex educator and relationship coach specializing in polyamory, open relationshipsjealousy, LGBTQ issues and infidelity.  

She can help you:

Contact her for a free consultation to see if working with her is right for you.

Click here to download her free guides to strengthen your relationship (monogamous or not).