nonviolent communication

Relationship Tips: Get Their Attention

Communication Patterns in Successful Relationships

Loads of research has been done on the behaviors of successful couples and one of trend holds true: satisfied couples in happy relationships are more likely to bid for attention in a few key ways.

Read on to add these skills in your relationships.

Bids for Attention

We bid for each other's attention all the time.  We do this by gesturing, making eye contact, initiating affection, making a joke, pointing out something.  

For example I might turn to my sweetheart and say, "I really like your shirt."

Successful couples bid more frequently. But there is a second part of bidding that keeps them in a loop of communicating with kindness.  

Receiving Bids From Your Partner

When someone bids for attention we have four real options in our response.  I will give you examples for each.

Warm:  

"Thanks for noticing my shirt babe."  This is a kind or friendly response.  It invites more interaction.

Neutral:

"Oh." This isn't a kind or unkind response.  It doesn't invite more communication or connection, but it doesn't overtly harm the relationship.  However, over time it can divide a couple if it is the only response given.  

Cold:

"Why are you talking about my shirt?!?"  This might be an angry, defensive, or judgmental response.  This response doesn't invite more positive interaction and often leads to disconnection and conflict.  

Often we think this is the most problematic response- but when this response is handled respectfully couples can still grow.  

Non-response:

This is the most detrimental to the relationship.  When someone doesn't respond we feel ignored and we are far less likely to continue bidding for our partner's attention.  This gap in responses starts growing distance between people.

We fill in the gap with our assumptions, resentments and judgments and distance grows.  But sometimes our partner has innocently missed the bid- maybe they simply didn't hear us.  They don't even know how we've been hurt- and aren't able to effectively repair the missed bid. 

Your relationship challenge:

Notice the bids for interaction this week and work to respond with warmth as often as possible.  Notice how it shifts your relationship's energy.   

 


Healthy Relationships | Couples Therapist | Sex Therapist

Gina Senarighi has been supporting loving couples and healthy teams for nearly twenty years. As a former couples therapist turned retreat coach, workshop facilitator, and author she's transformed partnerships, leaders and communication strategy all over the world.  

Her uniquely non-judgmental, inclusive approach to couples work puts even the most concerned participants at ease.  She's not your average sit-and-nod supporter- she'll hold hope even when it's hard and always help you grow. 

Call for a consultation to see how she can help you deepen connection, communicate effectively, and passionately reignite your relationship.

Being a supportive partner

meaningful support.jpgsupportive relationships \ support and trust in marriage | how to be supportive

Giving and receiving meaningful support is essential to lasting loving relationships.

Most relationships start out strong, but as time passes fewer and fewer people say they get the support they need from their partner.

The word “support” means a lot of different things to a lot of different people.  So one way to get more of the love and support you want is to clarify both your request and what you can offer.

Consider the six central themes of support here and ask yourself what you’re really looking for when you ask for help in situations with your sweetie.  You can use the examples here to get clearer with your partner. 

Ask yourself “What does meaningful support look like to me in this situation?” 

Or ask them, “What can I do to show you support in this situation?”

The clearer you become in your request, and in clarifying your partner’s requests, the better equipped you are to meet each other’s needs.

Here are a few more reflection questions to help you get clear. Take a moment to write out your thoughts on each to help you get clear before making requests of your partner.

  • What has meaningful support looked like in the past, in friendships and my family?
  • What actions would be most helpful? What could my partner do to make my experience easier?
  • When do I feel especially cared for in this partnership? What can I apply from that experience to this one? 
  • When do I feel respected in this relationship? What behaviors from my partner foster that feeling?
  • When do I feel most reassured and grounded in this partnership? Are there elements of that experience I would like in this situation?

I created a worksheet to help you dive deeper into this work and get even more clear.  Enter your information below to download it and get access to my full relationship tool library.

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Hi!  I'm glad you're reading.  Let me know if I can help you:

polyamory coach | open relationship counselor | nonmonogamy
  • open your relationship & practice polyamory with integrity
  • move beyond jealousy, fear, and insecurity 
  • manage intense emotions that arise in conflicts
  • rebuild trust after infidelity or dishonesty
  • shift stuck communication & codependent relationship patterns

I lead couples retreats, host workshops, and see private clients online and in Portland, Oregon. Call me for a free consultation to rethink the way you do relationships.

Gina Senarighi, MS, MA, CPC is a communication consultant, sexuality counselor and certified relationship coach specializing in polyamory, open relationships, jealousy, and infidelity.  

Signs You Have a Boundary Problem

SIGNS YOU HAVE BOUNDARY ISSUES | BOUNDARY PROBLEMS | RED FLAGS

Setting clear personal boundaries is the key to ensuring relationships are mutually respectful, trustworthy and caring. Boundaries set the limits for acceptable behavior from those around you, determining whether they feel able to put you down, make fun, or take advantage of your good nature.

If you're often uncomfortable with other peoples' treatment of you, it's likely time to reset your boundaries. Weak boundaries leave you vulnerable and likely to be taken for granted.  They also cause you to build resentful distance between you and the people you love most.

Common Boundary Violations

With that said, it can be difficult to identify when boundaries are an issue for you.  Here are a few signals to look for if you want to see where boundary problems lie in your relationship:

  • Saying “yes” to your partner, when in fact you’d rather say “no”
  • Saying “no” when it might be perfectly appropriate to say “yes” – this is often done to keep a partner at arm’s length, or punish him or her.

Good boundaries require authenticity and honesty. Neither of these behaviors are honest ways to communicate.  They leave huge gaps for misunderstanding and missing intimacy.

  • Making your partner read your mind instead of saying specifically what you’re thinking or feeling
  • Trying to control your partner’s thoughts or behavior through aggressive or subtle manipulation

Again, using indirect communication is a surefire way to create misunderstandings.  Not saying what you really wants sets your partner up for failure- they're sure to let you down at some point.  Not asking for what you want directly won't give your partner the opportunity to learn the best ways to love you.

Both of these kinds of manipulations will lead to conflict and hurt eventually.  You can avoid the hurt by getting clear and being direct about what you want to see happen between you.

 

Here are some tips that can help you establish and maintain healthy boundaries:

  • Communicate your thoughts and feeling honestly, with specificity and clearly. Whenever possible, be honest but respectful in sharing your thoughts and feelings with your partner. Yes, this is a vulnerable action to take, but with careful communication vulnerability is the key to building trust in relationships.
  • Ask your partner what they are feeling instead of trying to guess. Mind-reading is not your responsibility.  And no matter how connected you are, it is impossible to know what your partner wants or is thinking in every situation. If each of you reflects on your own thoughts and feelings, and takes responsibility for putting them into words you will grow deeper understanding. 
  • Take responsibility for your actions. All relationship dynamics are co-created. Instead of blaming your partner for how you feel, ask yourself how your choices (intentional or otherwise) contributed to the situation.

Healthy boundaries take practice. Most of us were not trained to have these kinds of conversations in our families. But with practice you will be better able to identify where the boundary lines are between you.

As a result, trust and connection will only grow stronger and more secure between you over time.


boundaries in relationships | healthy relationship boundaries | how to have boundaries | boundary issues

Hi!  I'm glad you're reading.  I can help you:

  • change communication & codependent relationship patterns
  • reconnect with passion & desire in long-term partnerships
  • rebuild trust after infidelity or dishonesty
  • move beyond jealousy, fear, and insecurity & manage intense emotions
  • open your relationship & practice polyamory with integrity

I lead couples retreats, host workshops, and see private clients online and in Portland, Oregon.  And I've created a HUGE free relationship tool library available online for couples worldwide.

Call me for a free consultation to rethink the way you do relationships.

Gina Senarighi, MS, MA, CPC is a communication consultant, sexuality counselor and certified relationship coach specializing in polyamory, open relationships, jealousy, and infidelity.  

Taming Dragons: Responding to Vulnerability with Compassion

JEALOUSY AND VULNERABILITY IN RELATIONSHIPS | JEALOUS SPOUSE

Y'all, I've been talking about jealousy as dragon taming for a loooong time, and then today was talking with a colleague who told me Tara Brach has a similar approach.  

As I've said, jealousy often shows up like a dragon- fierce, rageful, vengeful, spitting fire, and leaving destruction.  Most folklore will tell us this.  But if we look to most of these stories, the dragon is actually tending and protecting something precious.  

When we shift our focus to that gold we're protecting the whole dynamic begins to change. Or so it has been in my work with jealousy (both personally and professionally).  

Tara Brach is a well-known author, meditation leader, and teacher.  She takes a different lens but comes to many of the same conclusions.  If you're struggling with jealousy (or other overwhelming reactive emotions) give this video a watch. 

Give the video your full presence and follow the meditation she leads.  Notice how applying kindness - yes, kindness- the more we can shift our experience, and often get at what we really want. 

WATCH HERE: 

Let me know what you think on my facebook page.  I'd love to hear from you!  

And if you'd like help working through difficult emotions, give me a call for a free consultation, I'm happy to be a support.  


jealousy and relationships | open relationships counselor | open marriage therapist

Hi!  I'm glad you're reading.  I can help you:

  • change communication & codependent patterns
  • reconnect with passion & desire in long-term partnerships
  • rebuild trust after infidelity or dishonesty
  • move beyond jealousy, fear, and insecurity 
  • manage intense emotions that arise in conflicts
  • open your relationship & practice polyamory with integrity

I lead couples retreats, host workshops, and see private clients online and in Portland, Oregon.

Call me for a free consultation to rethink the way you do relationships.

Gina Senarighi, MS, MA, CPC is a communication consultant, sexuality counselor and certified relationship coach specializing in polyamory, open relationships, jealousy, and infidelity.  

PRIVACY VS SECRECY IN RELATIONSHIPS

PRIVACY VS SECRECY IN RELATIONSHIPS

Several people have raised the issue of secret vs. private in session recently, wondering about the difference and how that plays out in healthy relationships.

While the dictionary does not make a clear distinction between the two, in practice they are different.

 

Here are my distinctions:

PRIVACY

Privacy is the state of being unobserved. That which I keep private, I am merely withholding from public view. Private matters are those traits, truths, beliefs, and ideas about ourselves that we keep to ourselves. They might include our fantasies and daydreams, feelings about the way the world works, and spiritual beliefs.

Privacy is a choice we make to have our own boundaries around what we will reveal or not reveal to our partner.  Privacy is the inner space that is like an inner sanctum protected from outsiders.  What we choose to keep to ourselves may be things that we want only for ourselves.

In time intimate relationship privacy boundaries usually soften. Sharing vulnerable or private information (trauma history, family issues, health concerns) often requires trust that must be built over time. Private matters, when revealed either accidentally or purposefully, give another person some insight into the revealer and should be treated with respect.

Sharing private information with a trustworthy partner can greatly deepen the connection between partners.

Which is why some people think sharing everything is the best path.  But respecting boundaries and honoring privacy is just as solid a path to trust in relationships.  A healthy couple has to find a balance between respecting privacy and sharing to build a foundation of trust.

Keeping something private is an act of choosing boundaries and staying comfortably within them.  Withholding private information has very little to no direct impact on your partner.

 

SECRECY

Secrecy is the act of keeping things hidden -- that which is secret goes beyond merely private into hidden. While secrecy spills into privacy, not all privacy is secrecy. Secrecy stems from deliberately keeping something from others out of a fear. 

Secrets information often has a negative impact on someone else-emotionally, physically, or financially. The keeper of secrets believes that if they are revealed either accidentally or purposefully,  the revelation may harm the secret-keeper and/or those they care about.

Withholding secret information likely has a direct impact on your partner's trust in you.  Often the impact on our partner is WHY we are being secretive.

Sometimes a secret is something kept from someone else to protect behavior that you don’t want to give up, but that you know your partner might not approve of. You may be, embarrassed about it or feel what you are doing might be questionable. We keep something secret out of fear and shame of what others would think if they knew. 

Often secrecy becomes more rigid and stress-inducing in time, rather than softening like privacy. Typically secrecy causes the secret-keeper incredible stress until discovered or sabotaged, leaving them in pieces. 

Secrecy is when we choose to keep something to ourselves knowing that there may be negative consequences if it were to be revealed. 

 

Here are a few examples:

SECRECY

I have an online gambling addiction.

I forged my degree.

I peek at other people getting dressed in the morning.

I take showers with other people.

I'm acting on a fetish I'm not telling you about.

I'm sleeping with a coworker you don't know about.

PRIVACY

I don't share my internet passwords.

I got terrible grades in high school.

I like to dance naked when I get dressed in the morning.

I sing in the shower.

I have a fetish I am not ready to share with you.

I talked to my friends about my concerns at work.

 

This difference between secrecy and privacy centers on the feelings about the information which is withheld and our motivation to withhold it. 

 

ASK YOURSELF

To get clear about the secrecy and privacy boundaries you're holding ask yourself the following questions.

 

How will this information help my partner?

Why is it important to keep this information to myself?

Do I imagine this boundary could soften or change?

Why do I want to know this information about my partner?

How will my partner's possible answers directly impact me or our shared life?

How will it impact me not to have this information from my partner?

How can I respect my partner's boundary even if I don't understand it?

 


Polyamory counselor | open relationships therapist | open marriage therapist

Hi!  I'm glad you're reading.  Let me know if I can help you:

  • reconnect with passion & desire in long-term partnerships
  • rebuild trust after infidelity or dishonesty
  • move beyond jealousy, fear, and insecurity 
  • manage intense emotions that arise in conflicts
  • resolve sexual dysfunction & disconnect
  • change communication & codependent patterns
  • open your relationship & practice polyamory with integrity

I lead couples retreats, host workshops, and see private clients online (and in Portland, OR).

Call me for a free consultation to rethink the way you do relationships.

Why You Get Jealous in Non-Monogamy

jealous in open relationships.jpg

In ten years working with jealousy in relationships I've seen a lot of folks through the shadowy sides of envy, insecurity, and fear.  No two experiences look the same, and yet there are a lot of clear themes.  

Lots of people want to figure out why they're jealous.  If you notice yourself wondering, I urge you to ask only with compassion.  All too often we ask why looking to pathologize, judge, or fix.  Instead, I suggest asking more compassionately:

  • What is my jealousy trying to teach me?
  • What does my jealousy want to know?
  • What does jealousy want to know?
  • What would bring me security or reassurance in this moment?
  • What does meaningful support look like in this moment? 
  • What other emotions travel alongside my jealousy? (anxiety, fear, envy, admiration, lonliness, grief, and anger are common buddies of jealousy) What do each of them want from this situation?
  • If my jealousy wasn't present how would I be different?
  • What is my jealousy hoping for?

WHen you have time to sit and interview your unique experience of jealousy, there's likely a lot to learn about yourself, your needs, and your relationship from the interview.  Often folks find out the intentions behind their jealousy are:

  • I want to feel special
  • I envy the desire I see in someone else
  • I want to know I am a priority in my someone's life
  • I want more fun/spontaneity/play/sex/curiosity/connection in our partnership
  • I envy the learning/self-awareness my partner is getting right now because I want some of my own
  • There are thing's I want to change about my own self-care
  • I want to spend more time investing in my own desires and passions
  • I want my partner and me to invest more time in each other
  • I need to get out more
  • I've experienced broken trust in this relationship, and I'd like attention to repair it
  • I realize I need a richer social life
  • I'm holding old resentments I haven't shared with my partner
  • I'd like to take better care of my body
  • I crave adventure
  • I really like this relationship and I don't want to lose it
  • I've grown dependent on this partner to meet a lot of my needs, I'd like to foster more friendships/relationships of my own
  • I want more close friends
  • There are parts of my relationship history I need to work on to resolve
  • There are things my family taught me about relationships I want to work on in therapy/coaching

If you'd like help sitting with jealousy and insecurity to learn from it please give me a call.  I'm always here to help.


Nonviolent Communication Needs: Peace

NONVIOLENT COMMUNICATION | NVC needs | communication skills

The best way I can think to honor veterans is to observe peace.  I have worked with many vets as a therapist in the last few years, and the lessons they've shared all center on peace.  

Veteran or not, we all need and deserve peace.  We crave quiet, stillness, ease and balance.  We need peace.  

In a world constantly pushing for competition, comparison, hustle, busy, and distraction- peace is something many of us are looking for.  

How can you focus on peace today?  

How can you bring more stillness into your world?  

When I shift my focus from the unmet needs in my life to the spaces where they are already met I am always surprised.  I can go weeks searching for peace in specific ways, all the while missing the tiny spaces of quiet all around me.  

I'm so attached to a peace in a certain form, I miss the chance to experience when it appears.  Truthfully, it is usually closer than I realize- often stuck in spaces between more anxious wanderings.  

When I spend a little time being more present in the peace already around me I stop longing for it so much in other arenas.  And I appreciate the small spaces so much more.

Focus on peace today, it may be closer than you think.

Conflict Styles & Open Relationships

conflict and polyamory

The Tomas Killman Instrument was created to measure common behavior in conflicts and difficult situations. In situations where two people appear to be incompatible it describes behavior along two dimensions:

  1. Assertiveness, or the extent to which the person tries to resolve their own concerns
  2. Cooperativeness, or the extent to which the person tries to resolve the other's concerns
conflict styles and open relationships

As you can see above, assertiveness and cooperativeness are combined to create five different models for responding to conflicts. I offer these as a tool for self-reflection as you review your decision-making process for your non-monogamous relationship. 

Each of us is capable of using all five conflict-handling modes. And most healthy couples use all five indifferent situations. None of us can be characterized as having a single style of dealing with conflict. But we often use some modes more often than others and, therefore, often default to these when tensions grow.

Your conflict behavior in your relationship is a result of your trauma and relationship history and the dynamics between you and your partner.  These dynamics are co-created in every relationship.  As you read the styles below try to identify situations where you might find each of them useful.  

Competition

Competing is both assertive and uncooperative, meaning one party pursues their concerns at the other person's expense. Often this speaks to a power differential in a relationship.  One of you might outrank the other in authority, expertise, history or some sort of resource and therefore hold more power.  Competing means "standing up for your rights," defending a position which you believe is correct, or simply trying to win.

Competing can work in situations where the power differential is clear and consensual.  However, for most negotiations in non-monogamy, competing does not allow enough room for empathy and care to maintain the connection between you long-term.

Accommodation

Accommodating is listed as both unassertive and cooperative (notice it's opposite of competing). When accommodating, the one person neglects their own concerns to satisfy the concerns of another.  There can often be an element of self-sacrifice in this mode.

In healthy dynamics accommodating can be a form of generosity or service or yielding when the issue feels unimportant.  Dan Savage often refers to these issues as the "price of admission" meaning something annoying you can put up with as part of being in a relationship with this specific person.

When considering non-monogamy accommodation frequently leads to resentment-building and martyrdom.  Too often we over-compromise and regret it later.

Avoidance

Avoiding is both unassertive and uncooperative- parties neither pursue their own desires nor their partners'.  Nobody has to deal with the conflict. Usually, in the case of open relationships either nothing happens, affairs occur, of couples try to enact an "don't ask don't tell" policy.

In the best cases, avoiding takes the form of diplomatically sidestepping an issue, postponing it until a better time, or withdrawing when safety is a concern.

However, in non-monogamy often avoidance creates and maintains a distance between partners.  Because we don't talk about things (DADT and affairs or unethical/non-consensual non-monogamy) we miss many opportunities to connect and start missing each other along the way.  

Compromising

Compromising is where most healthy open couples start out, it's mild in both assertive and cooperative measures. The objective in compromise is to find some expedient, mutually acceptable solution that partially satisfies both parties. Compromising requires both partners give up more than if they were competing but less than when accommodating.

It also addresses the issue more directly than avoiding but doesn't get as deep as collaborating. I see this in open relationships when folks split the difference between the two opposing positions, by mutually exchanging concessions, and seeking a middle-ground solution.

This can work for short-term agreements when nonmonogamy is really new and couples are regularly checking in for connection and to rethink their communication process as needed.  It works if both parties are willing to enter openness slowly and with care, knowing new compromises and changes are potentially on the horizon.

Collaboration

Collaborating is both assertive and cooperative—the complete opposite of avoiding. Collaborating means both parties work together to find some solution that fully satisfies their concerns. It usually requires digging deeper into the issue to identify underlying needs and wants of both partners.

The folks who most successful maintain connected relationships in non-monogamy typically practice a form of collaboration.  Collaborating requires an openness to take the other parties perspective, genuine empathy for the experience of the other person, and a real willingness to stay patient, curious and creative.

If you want help navigating conflict with connection and compassion as you open your relationship I'd love to talk with you.  Give me a call.  


conflict in polyamory

Hi!  I'm glad you're reading.  Let me know if I can help you:

  • reconnect with passion & desire in long-term partnerships
  • rebuild trust after infidelity or dishonesty
  • move beyond jealousy, fear, and insecurity 
  • manage intense emotions that arise in conflicts
  • resolve sexual dysfunction & disconnect
  • change communication & codependent patterns
  • open your relationship & practice polyamory with integrity

I lead couples retreats, host workshops, and see private clients online (and in Portland, OR).

Call me for a free consultation to rethink the way you do relationships.

Gina Senarighi, MS, MA, CPC is a communication consultant, sexuality counselor and certified relationship coach specializing in polyamory, open relationships, jealousy, and infidelity.  

 

How to Listen to Stay Together

open relationship therapist open marriage counselor sex counselor sex therapist portland couples therapy

Intentional or not, every interaction we have with another person is about communication. We're almost constantly communicating with our body, tone, words and facial expressions.

If you want a healthy relationship that lasts over time, learning to communicate effectively using solid communication skills is essential.

Communicating poorly is one of the greatest predictors of a break up (or divorce).

So if you want to stay together focusing energy on improving your communication skills is essential.  Today we'll outline two critical communication skills that if practiced, will dramatically enhance your understanding of each other.

 

1. Self-awareness and reflective listening

Knowing if you tend to a react or reflect can help you shift the way you do conflict.  

Reactors usually respond to information immediately and interrupt quickly. 

Reflectors more often take time to stop and consider what's being said, before responding.

Imagine how different your conflict patterns might be if both of you reflected before getting defensive or jumping to assumptions.  Your conversations will be more meaningful the more you can shift this pattern.

Here's an example:

Partner’s phrase: “This argument comes up every time we see your parents…”

Reactor:“What are you saying?! It doesn’t! You don’t even know what you are talking about!"

Reflector: Pause. “I think I get where you are coming from. Can you tell me more?”

Take action:

Spend the next 48 hours noticing which contexts and situations you default to reaction instead of reflection.  The more you collect data on your patterns the more awareness you have to work with as you attempt to change them.

 2Respond to the meaning rather than the content

So often in an argument we respond to the content of a statement instead of the meaning underneath.  We get hooked by one piece of information and fail to see the bigger picture.

Usually this leads the whole conversation off track. Instead of making progress we wind around details and unimportant stories often leaving us confused or making the conflict last much longer than necessary. 

Instead of getting hooked, try to identify the core meaning in the messages your partner is sending. Filter through the less important information, stories, facts, or analogies and focus on finding the core meaning. 

Here are a couple examples:

Partner: “I see you flirting with other people! Why do you act that way?!”

Possible core meanings: 

  • I really like our relationship and I'm afraid it could end.
  • I am feeling insecure right now.
  • I want more fully present time with you, please don't get distracted by others.
  • I miss flirting with you and want more playfulness or romance in our relationship.

Partner: “You never help around the house!  I feel like I'm your maid!”

Possible core meanings: 

  • I need more support from you.
  • I want recognition and appreciation for the work I do.
  • Mutuality and equality are core values of mine.  Do they matter to you?
  • Does it matter to you that I'm frustrated?

Give yourself time to work on this, it doesn't always come easily.  But with practice you'll feel more confident in this practice and your conflicts will resolve more efficiently.

I created a toolkit that could be useful as you try to implement this at home.  Enter your information below and I'll send you the Compassionate Communication Toolkit (and you'll get access to a bunch of other great tools 

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If you want help working on these skills don't hesitate to give me a call. I'm now taking online clients and working with people all over the world in video sessions.


Polyamory counseling | open relationship counseling | online couples therapy

Hi!  I'm glad you're reading.  Let me know if I can help you:

  • rediscover passion in long-term relationships
  • repair trust after infidelity or dishonesty
  • move beyond jealousy, insecurity or codependency
  • resolve sexual dysfunction and disconnect
  • break unhealthy communication patterns 
  • open your relationship and practice polyamory with care

Call me for a free consultation to rethink your relationship.

 

Gina Senarighi, MS, MA, CPC is a communication consultant, sexuality counselor and certified relationship coach specializing in polyamory, open relationships, jealousy, and infidelity.  

Integrity-Check Your Relationship

polyamory therapist online couples therapy relationship coach

I had the sweetest pleasure today of talking with a group of students at PCC Southeast campus Queer Resource Center during their Sexual Assault Awareness Month programming.  

We spent a couple hours talking about healthy queer relationships, boundaries, and communication through stress.  

It was a lot of fun.  

Students asked great questions about long-term relationships, introverts/internal processors and extroverts/external processors, and issues for transgender folks in marriages.  We covered shame, self-worth, and most of all how to show someone you really love them. 

I mean it, I love talking about love.  Especially with young people.

I walked them through a tool that can be transformative at any stage in a relationship.  It's a simple but profound integrity check for your relationship.  

Integrity-checking is important because it brings back alignment between what we say we want and how we get there.  All too often distance grows between us when we start moving away from our core.

Most couples get out of alignment after they've been together a while.  With just a little self-awareness and personal accountability you can be back on track for better connection.   

This super simple tool will help you identify if you need an adjustment and action steps to bring you back to center.  

If you want to download the guide I gave them for your own relationship integrity-check add your contact info below and I'll send you a copy.  


Hi!  I'm glad you're reading.  Let me know if I can help you:   rediscover passion in long-term relationships  repair trust after infidelity or dishonesty  move beyond jealousy, insecurity or codependency  resolve sexual dysfunction and disconnect  break unhealthy communication patterns   open your relationship and practice polyamory with care  Call me for a  free consultation  to rethink your relationship.      Gina Senarighi, MS, MA, CPC is a communication consultant, sexuality counselor and certified relationship coach specializing in polyamory, open relationships, jealousy, and infidelity.  

Hi!  I'm glad you're reading.  Let me know if I can help you:

  • rediscover passion in long-term relationships
  • repair trust after infidelity or dishonesty
  • move beyond jealousy, insecurity or codependency
  • resolve sexual dysfunction and disconnect
  • break unhealthy communication patterns 
  • open your relationship and practice polyamory with care

Call me for a free consultation to rethink your relationship.

 

Gina Senarighi, MS, MA, CPC is a communication consultant, sexuality counselor and certified relationship coach specializing in polyamory, open relationships, jealousy, and infidelity.