Sometimes re-imagining relationships can be a little lonely. You might have great friends, but they're not always the most open-minded when we talk about changing the way we love.
And sometimes rethinking relationships can be overwhelming. Most of us aren't taught great relationship skills in the first place- let alone given the tools to tailor relationships to our unique needs and personal growth.
Rather than stay in overwhelm and isolation we gather once a year to build friendship, share tools, gather resources, reflect, grow, and laugh.
Enter your information to be notified when registration opens:
Rethinking Relationships Retreat might be for you if:
You are considering opening your relationship
You've been practicing consensual non-monogamy for a short while and want help through the bumps that have come up.
You're ready to change your old relationship patterns
You want to think outside the box about building healthy relationships
You're not into doing love the way everyone else does just because it's what everyone else does
You want more people around you who are exploring healthy alternatives in love
You're interested in talking with other fun folks about love, sex, and relationships
You're able to think creatively without judgment and want to hear other folks experiences
Rethinking Relationships Retreat IS NOT for you if:
You're not open to reflection, learning about relationships, or personal growth
You hate the Pacific Northwest
You can't hear about other kinds of relationships or sexualities without judgment or laughter
You only want to come to hook up (connections do happen of course, but they're not the primary goal here)
You don't believe socialization, racism, sexism, homophobia are real things
You can't respect other people's boundaries
You can't respect other people's privacy
Our retreat core values are belonging, creativity, self-awareness, and renewal.
We invite all participants to explore these in the context of their relationships with themselves, with other participants, and with the folks they return home to.
BELONGING - We strive for an inclusive environment free from cool kid tables and mean girl shit. This community is based in compassion and care across differences.
CREATIVITY - We know growth requires dreaming, learning and mistake-making and respect each other's process.
SELF-AWARENESS - We engage in reflection, curiosity, and self-compassion to bring greater awareness. We respect our own and each other's boundaries.
RENEWAL - We go on retreats to renew and refresh our relationships with ourselves and those close to us. We honor the space each of us to replenish our connections.
When is it?
November 4&5, 2017 10am-5pm
Where do I register?
There are two steps to registration. If you are interested, do not delay registration (last year's retreats filled in under a week).
- Submit your deposit here.
- Submit your retreat application here.
My team will respond to your application within two business days. We hope to have you join us this year!
Where is it? How do I get there?
The retreat is in a gorgeous home in Southwest Portland, OR. It's easily accessible by bus or car.
Where do we stay?
You're going to book your own lodging where you'll feel most comfortable.
What should I pack?
Weather in Oregon is always a little wild. It is likely to be sunny but plan for rain and wear layers because you're probably going to want to walk through the beautiful acres of forest and garden on the property.
Our retreat is all indoors so we'll be warm and cozy. Wear something comfortable for your body.
Are meals included?
Beverages and ample snacks will be provided (options inclusive of gluten free, vegan, and sugar-free diets) to keep you comfy during the day.
Meals are one of the best times for you to build community with other participants. And for some they are the best chance to take a break, reflect, and regroup alone. We give you space to decide what's best with restaurant locations near the retreat space and a full kitchen you can use for lunches if you'd like.
Is this retreat for couples only? Can I come without a partner? Will there be single people there?
Yes there will be single people there. Typically the retreat is about half couples and half individuals.
If you come with a friend, date, or partner, please note the workshops are designed to interact with lots of folks (not just the one you came with) and we emphasize inclusion and non-judgment. Please be aware of your actions in the group to help support those outside your group/pair to feel welcome.
Will there be hook up opportunities? Will there be play parties?
Lots of people meet others they're interested in at these retreats which is wonderful. But we try to keep the group spaces inclusive as possible (so no one feels like an outsider) and drama-free (so folks can move through the material without distraction).
Please respect this fine balance if you do feel pulled to connect with another participant.
There will not be play space or nudity at the event, though many participants choose to attend events together after we close at the end of each day.
What if I meet someone I'm interested in at the retreat?
Lots of people meet others they're interested in at these retreats which is wonderful. But our primary focus isn't to be a dating or swinging event. This serves three important functions:
- We want the group to feel as inclusive as possible. Often crushes in community leave others feeling excluded and/or unsafe. Please respect this fine balance if you do feel pulled to another participant.
- Sometimes the thrill and/or heartbreak of new crushes can bring drama to a group. We're here to focus on rethinking relationships in strategic and sustainable ways for all of us. Please respect the calm this group is seeking even if you feel the rush of new love surfacing.
- Not everyone comes to these retreats looking for love. Please respect the boundaries of your fellow participants so they can do the work they came for.
What if I need space? I'm an introvert- will there be any alone time? Weekends are my only chance to regroup. Will there be space to rest?
We build in lots of breaks so you can reflect, renew, and enjoy the beautiful surroundings. If you need more time let us know- we can work with you.
Is everyone there polyamorous? Is this just for open relationships? What if we're monogamous?
We welcome participants from all kinds of relationships and we do not judge either monogamy or non-monogamy as inherently better than the other.
Some participants are in open relationships or open marriages. They often are seeking a space where they can talk with others in relationships like their own about their unique relationship needs without shame or judgment.
Most participants have practiced monogamy but aren't sure if that's what they want to practice forever. They come to explore possibilities and reflect on what they need (individually and/or together) moving forward. Many leave clearer they want to continue monogamy, others choose to build open relationships.
This retreat is not about one form of relationship being better than another- instead it's about helping you tailor your relationships to your needs with intention and integrity moving forward.
Is this for straight people? Will there be other queers at the retreat?
This retreat is open to all sexualities, gender identities, and gender expressions. Straight people who can embrace other sexualities as equal to their own are welcome. Queers who can compassionately interact with straight folks are always welcome.
For what it's worth, typically the retreats are attended by about 50% straight-ish folks and 50% LGBTQ-ish folks.
Can our kids come? Will there be childcare?
The retreat workshops are kid-free so you (and other participants) can be free from distraction.
Childcare is not provided. Some folks have left kiddos home with caregivers, others bring them and have childcare at their hotel or with family at their rental.
What if I want a refund?
All transactions sold for services are non-refundable, please make sure you are 100% sure you want to attend before purchasing.