So many of the couples clients I work with are new to the term "sex-positive" I get asked this question a lot.
To some people sex-positive means being a part of the BDSM community. But I think it means more than showing up to leather events and fetish parties.
And to some people sex-positive means enjoying talking about, and having sex.
But being a relationship coach is about helping others- not just having space to talk about things that interest me.
Sex-positive philosophy guides my work
The framework as a sex-positive provider means affirming sexuality, and taking a decidedly non-shaming approach to sexuality as long as it is safe, sane and consensual.
As a consultant this means I talk about these three topics with all of my clients.
This means if my clients want to talk about their fetish or fantasy- that's okay.
And if my clients want to talk about a kinky sexual behavior- that's okay.
If my clients participate in sexual behavior that is not average or common- that is okay.
We can explore what those behaviors, feelings, and dreams are all about in a non-shaming way (as long as you and your partners are consenting and clear-headed). If my clients mention behavior or terms that are new to me I can ask about them in a non-shaming, non-pathologizing way.
This kind of therapy isn't for everyone. And it's not the same as sex therapy. But it is a critically important way to work with people about a vital part of their lives.
Have you asked yourself what is safe related to your sexuality?
Do you know what it means to be sane in making those decisions?
Have you considered clear consent in your sex and play relationships?
If you haven't you are not alone. Most people have trouble talking about sex and negotiating play scenes. But difficulty talking about it is a large part of the reason so many couples experience desire fatigue, or suffer unsatisfying sex.
Learning to talk about sexuality clearly and confidently is key to having a satisfying sexual life.
If you want help getting clear about what you want and sharing it with the person you love a sex-positive provider might be a helpful step. Schedule a free consultation to see if I can help you.
*I closed my psychotherapy and couples counseling practice in 2016 to pursue coaching and consulting. Contact me to learn more about this powerful change in my work.
She can help you:
- rediscover passion in long-term relationships
- repair trust after infidelity or dishonesty
- move past jealousy, insecurity or codependent patterns
- open your relationship or practice polyamory with care
- resolve sexual dysfunction and disconnect
- break unhealthy communication patterns in your relationship
Contact her for a free consultation to see if working with her is right for you.