Essential Reading for Ethical Non-Monogamy

open relationship counseling | open marriage counselor

Most people never even hear the word non-monogamy until they're starting a conversation with a partner about doing it.  

Needless to say it sounds foreign, and without relationship role models to look to, it can be really overwhelming to try re-envisioning your relationship in a more open way.  

Getting good information is essential to making intentional choices- but where should you look first?  Here are the three books I recommend most often to clients considering non-monogamy. 

The Ethical Slut, by Janey Hardy and Dossie Easton

This book is a great primer on how to do intentional consensual relationships in general.  I think it lays a solid foundation for the conversations you're going to have with any future partners (monogamous or not).  If you're asking "how do I know if this is right for me?" this book is one step in the right direction.

Opening Up, by Tristan Taormino

Tristan Taormino interviewed hundreds of non-monogamous couples (and triads and more) to collect incredible examples of how people make it work across the spectrum of non-monogamy.  I love that this book walks you through many possibilities and brings up common concerns for each of the most common types of ethical non-monogamy folks practice. 

If you're having trouble envisioning a life without monogamy, this book will help you dream up possibilities.

More Than Two, by Franklin Veaux

I've gotten mixed feedback from clients on this one. but for those of you thinking polyamory (many loves or romantic connections) is a possibility for you, More Than Two walks you through the kind of issues that arise when heart-centered connections get more complex with more partners.  Yes, it's a little heavy, but if you're considering poly, it's arguably the best out there. 

If you have reading suggestions I'd love to hear them.  Leave a comment with your recommendation on my facebook page so I can take a look. 

And if you want help sorting through what you read in these give me a call, I'm here to help you!


open relationship counselor | open marriage counselor 

Hi!  I'm glad you're reading.  Let me know if I can help you:

  • reconnect with passion & desire in long-term partnerships
  • rebuild trust after infidelity or dishonesty
  • move beyond jealousy, fear, and insecurity 
  • manage intense emotions that arise in conflicts
  • resolve sexual dysfunction & disconnection
  • change communication & codependent patterns
  • open your relationship & practice polyamory with integrity

I lead couples retreats, host workshops, and see private clients online (and in Portland, OR).

Call me for a free consultation to rethink the way you do relationships.