Ask me anything is a relationship advice column run by Gina Senarighi, a former therapist turned sex educator and sexuality counsellor who offers online support for non-traditional couples.
This Weeks Relationship Advice Question:
My fiance wants to do a poly and we have talked about and I've said maybe but honestly I'm scared and I feel he doesn't understand me. Is this something you'd be able to help with?
Simplest answer, YUP. I've worked with hundreds of couples who are considering non-monogamy, polyamory, swinging, or other kinds of open relationships for the first time.
It's not uncommon for them to come to me with one partner who wants to try polyamory and another who is hesitant. And I don't believe polyamory is for everyone, (neither is monogamy) so it often works well for us to talk through lots of options to help you decide if polyamory if right for you right now, and if so, what kind of boundaries and communications skills need to be in place for you to succeed.
It's also not unusual to feel some fear when thinking about non-monogamy for the first time. Lots of people experience insecurity, jealousy, and fear related to relationship change. Whether you two do choose nonmonogamy or not, you might want support just to work through the kinds of intense feelings that show up when people start this conversation. I can support you in that or am happy to give you a referral to another provider.
I'm curious about why your partner is thinking about this now and I'm curious about your fears. If you want to set up a consultation to talk more about working together or so I can send you specific resources for your situation please set up a free call here.
Gina Senarighi offers non-judgmental sex-positive, gender-affirming, LGBTQ relationship support online and in the Pacific Northwest.
She often says, “I love love, in all its forms!”
She’s helped thousands of couples deepen their sexual connection, repair trust, and build sustainable lasting partnerships.
She uses her multi-disciplinary professional training to teach communication skills and help her clients handle conflict with compassion.
Gina has supported many couples experimenting with open relationships based in trust and integrity. If you’re considering polyamory you should check out her online resources here.
Although most of her couples are experimenting with less traditional relationship structures, even her more mainstream clients appreciate her open-minded non-judgmental approach and diverse expertise.