After we meet for a free consultation call we might decide to work together. But before we meet in person for a couples session ask yourself these five questions to get clarity for our work:
What are the strengths of your partnership?
What brought you together? What keeps you together? Knowing the reasons why you chose one another and the strengths you bring to one another helps me draw upon these as we help you move forward.
How committed to staying in this relationship are you right now?
I often ask new couples to rate their commitment on a 1-10 scale when we first meet. It's helpful to know how close you are to ending the relationship. I've worked with couples and partners all over this scale.
That said, please know that most couples are working with me to change patterns they created over the course of years. I wish shifting those could happen more quickly, but most couples need to commit to a couple months of work to really see sustainable change through.
Where are you most stuck in this relationship?
What is your biggest area of conflict? Every couple has conflict, disconnect, or tension and usually that's why they come to see me. Take a minute to make a couple notes about your particular issue before you come in to help direct our session.
How have you already tried to resolve this issue? I'm sure you've tried something (or many things) before coming to me. This can be helpful information as we create a plan for change for the two of you.
How do you personally contribute to the problem you are facing in this relationship?
Here's the tough one. Many people come in ready to blame their partner for all the problems they're facing. And while your partner certainly may be hard to deal with right now, we need to look at how each of you contribute to the problems you're facing if we're really going to change things.
So ask yourself how you might help create to the conflict between you.
If we're wildly successful in our work together, what will be different in your relationship one year from now?
I ask every couple this question when we start working together, so this is your head start. I want to know how you envision things changing or being different when we shift in a more positive direction. The more specific your description the better for our work.
Gina Senarighi, MS, MA, CPC is a sex educator and relationship coach specializing in polyamory, open relationships, jealousy, LGBTQ issues and infidelity.
She can help you:
- rediscover passion in long-term relationships
- repair trust after infidelity or dishonesty
- move past jealousy, insecurity or codependent patterns
- open your relationship or practice polyamory with care
- resolve sexual dysfunction and disconnect
- break unhealthy communication patterns in your relationship
Contact her for a free consultation to see if working with her is right for you.