Building custom-tailored relationships can feel a little lonely. You probably have great friends, but they're not always the most open-minded about love.
Sometimes redesigning relationships can be overwhelming. Most of us aren't taught great relationship skills in the first place- let alone given the tools to tailor relationships to our unique needs and personal growth.
You want to meet more folks like you, healthy smart people who want to create intentional consensual loving relationships.
Join us for twice a month conversation and community. Yes, there's support in this group- but we're not a counseling circle (you don't need therapy). Yes, we share our stories- but we know there's no one way to do this.
Yes there's expertise here if you want it, and there's also a great sense of humor, friendliness, and community as we each try to navigate new relationship territory.
Rethinking Relationships Group might be for you if:
You're ready to change your old relationship patterns
You want to think outside the box about building healthy relationships
You're not into doing love the way everyone else does just because it's what everyone else does
You want more people around you who are exploring healthy alternatives in love
You're interested in talking with other fun folks about love, sex, and relationships
You're able to think creatively without judgment and want to hear other folks experiences
You want to meet more friendly people in Portland, OR
Rethinking Relationships Group IS NOT for you if:
You don't want to meet other people who are thinking about relationships in non-traditional ways
You're not open to reflection, learning about relationships, or personal growth
You can't hear about other kinds of relationships or sexualities without judgment or laughter
You only want to come to hook up (hook ups do happen of course, but they're not the primary goal here)
You don't believe socialization, racism, sexism, homophobia are real things
You can't respect other people's boundaries
Add your information below to get invited when a space opens in our group.
Our group core values are belonging, creativity, self-awareness, and renewal. We invite all participants to explore these in the context of their relationships with themselves, with other participants, and with the folks they return home to.
BELONGING - We strive for an inclusive environment free from cool kid tables and mean girl shit. This community is based in compassion and care across differences.
CREATIVITY - We know growth requires dreaming, learning and mistake-making and respect each other's process.
SELF-AWARENESS - We engage in reflection, curiosity, and self-compassion to bring greater awareness. We respect our own and each other's boundaries.
RENEWAL - We go on retreats to renew and refresh our relationships with ourselves and those close to us. We honor the space each of us to replenish our connections.
Where is it? How do I get there?
The group meets in a comfy living room in North Portland for an hour (which goes by pretty quickly) and then meets at the restaurant/bar next door for social time.
When is it?
We meet twice each month. You'll be asked your availability when you request an invitation.
Is this group for couples only? Can I come without a partner? Will there be single people there?
Yes there will be single people there. Typically the group is about half couples and half individuals.
If you come with a friend, date, or partner, please note the group is designed to interact with lots of folks (not just the one/s you came with) and we emphasize inclusion and non-judgment. Please be aware of your actions in the group to help support those outside your group/pair to feel welcome.
Will there be hook up opportunities? Will there be play parties?
Lots of people meet others they're interested in this group which is wonderful. But we try to keep the group spaces inclusive as possible (so no one feels like an outsider) and drama-free (so folks can move through the material without distraction). Please respect this fine balance if you do feel pulled to another participant.
What if I meet someone I'm interested in the group?
Lots of people meet others they're interested in group which is wonderful. But our primary focus isn't to be a dating or swinging event. This serves three important functions:
- We want the group to feel as inclusive as possible. Often crushes in community leave others feeling excluded and/or unsafe. Please respect this fine balance if you do feel pulled to another participant.
- Sometimes the thrill and/or heartbreak of new crushes can bring drama to a group. We're here to focus on rethinking relationships in strategic and sustainable ways for all of us. Please respect the calm this group is seeking even if you feel the rush of new love surfacing.
- Not everyone comes to these groups looking for love. Please respect the boundaries of your fellow participants so they can do the work they came for.
Is everyone there polyamorous? Is this just for open relationships? What if we're monogamous?
We welcome participants from all kinds of relationships and we do not judge either monogamy or non-monogamy as inherently better than the other.
Some participants are in open relationships or open marriages. They often are seeking a space where they can talk with others in relationships like their own about their unique relationship needs without shame or judgment.
Most participants have practiced monogamy but aren't sure if that's what they want to practice forever. They come to explore possibilities and reflect on what they need (individually and/or together) moving forward. Many leave clearer they want to continue monogamy, others choose to build open relationships.
This group is not about one form of relationship being better than another- instead it's about helping you tailor your relationships to your needs with intention and integrity moving forward.
Is this for straight people? Will there be other queers at the retreat?
This group is open to all sexualities, gender identities, and gender expressions. Straight people who can embrace other sexualities as equal to their own are welcome. Queer folks who can compassionately interact with straight people are always welcome.
For what it's worth, typically the groups are attended by about 50% straight-ish folks and 50% LGBTQ-ish folks.
Can our kids come? Will there be childcare?
The group is kid-free so you (and other participants) can be free from distraction. Childcare is not provided.