INFIDELITY & AFFAIRS

80% of all couples (monogamous and otherwise) experience infidelity 

I've supported so many couples and individuals through affairs.  If you're in the middle of one odds are you feel overwhelmed and really concerned about where the future might take you.  

You might be losing sleep or worrying excessively and there's a pretty high chance you're having cyclical or repetitive conversations and arguments with your sweetheart.  Here's what I want you to know:

You can get through this.

Most  couples who work with me after han affair are sorting through a lot of intense feelings and a lot of mixed advice on what to do next.  I use my experience and expertise in this field to support you in finding clarity and moving forward with integrity.

Jealousy is my speciality.

I have helped hundreds of people online and in person work through feelings of jealousy and insecurity that arise as a result of infidelity.  If you're experiencing intense feelings of anger, jealousy, sadness, fear, or confusion please know this is a really common reaction to what you're going through.  And I am here to support you.

I'm not here to judge.  

Usually the people I work with who have had an affair feel a lot of shame or guilt.  I am not here to add to the pile of shame you're experiencing.  My goal is to help you sort through the feelings you're having to move forward. 

 
 

WHAT I DON'T DO

  • Treat mental illness, so you won't receive a diagnosis, assessment or treatment for mental health conditions
  • Add shame or judgment to your experience (there's already too much of that in the world)
  • Treat substance abuse issues, but I can refer you to several great folks who do
  • Support couples who are actively violent with one another- your safety needs to come first, then our work together can begin

WHAT I DO

  • Use relationship research to assist you in rebuilding trust and honest communication
  • Help you listen and communicate effectively so you get out of repetitive arguments
  • Help you find ways to manage really intense emotions
  • Create a judgment-free space for you to identify and share your needs clearly
  • Listen and empathize you in hard times
  • Keep momentum and hope alive even when you feel most stuck

POlyamorous Therapy Portland | Uncommon Love Nonmonogamy Counseling, LGBT Affirming Therapy, and Sex-Positive Therapist in Portland, Oregon

Questions from past clients who've experienced an affair:

Can we get through this affair?

Even couple takes a different route through infidelity.  Some of my couples choose to split up- and in those cases I help them do so with respect and kindness.  

Most of my couples choose to stay together and though it isn't easy many of them make it through.  We work to repair broken trust and create communication that works for both of you moving forward.

Is infidelity normal?

Affairs happen in both monogamous and non-monogamous relationships.  Estimates range between 60% (monogamous couples) and 80% of all couples experience infidelity.  So yeah, infidelity is pretty common. 

If you're asking is it normal to feel this way, please know it is completely "normal" to feel a lot of intense and conflicting feelings whether you are the partner who has an affair or the one who didn't.  Your feelings are valid.  Let me help you work through them with integrity.

I work with couples to rebuild trust and overcome jealousy in weekly meetings.  I have helped hundreds of couples move forward after an affair.  

I'm can help you repair trust no matter what you've been through.  

Set up a free consultation to see if we're a good match to work together.