Five Ways to Stop Jealousy

Stop Jealousy | Uncommon Love | Polyamory Counseling in Portland

The idea of overcoming jealousy may seem daunting to many of us.  When you are caught up in the emotions and insecurities jealousy brings you can feel powerless against its riptide.  

But just like ocean swimming- with some intention action and training, you can learn to ride the waves with skill.

How to stop jealousy:

First, acknowledge the jealousy that is present- honestly.

Before you can begin to get past your jealousy, you need to admit that it's a real problem that is keeping you from loving healthy relationships and self-love.  Jealously can be truly debilitating. Take this quiz to determine if jealousy is a problem in your life.

Then, reflect on your jealousy.

If you’re going to really change the way jealousy shows up in your life, you have to understand why you are having these feelings to begin with. What kind of jealousy is showing up for you?

Most importantly, focus on self-improvement. 

If you’re a chronically jealous person, chances are you are experiencing insecurity-  you don’t think highly of yourself and get caught up comparing yourself to others you admire.  It's time to work on making yourself into a person who has no reason to be jealous because you're so happy with who you are.

Practice gratitude.

When scarcity and fear visit, they are often protecting the things that matter most to us.  Their greatest antidote is gratitude.  Remind yourself that you're lucky just to be alive, and turn your energy to the greatness all around you.

Cultivate self-compassion and acceptance.

Improving and appreciating the life you have will go a long way to resolve your jealousy, but the truth is, nobody is perfect and someone will always have it easier/better/prettier than you.  Learning to accept your imperfections with compassion is key to letting go of jealousy.

Moving forward, avoid jealousy in the future.

Jealousy is a natural emotion, and doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you or your relationships.  Continue to invest in the items on this list as waves of jealousy crash in the future and imagine yourself becoming a surfer instead of kelp in this process.

This post was originally shared on Amplify Good.

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Gina Senarighi, MS, MA, CPC is a sex educator and relationship coach specializing in polyamory, open relationshipsjealousy, LGBTQ issues and infidelity.  

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